The Beacon, November 2007

The importance of listening

As I travel around the diocese and talk to others about conflict in their parishes, I cannot help but acknowledge how blessed we have been at St. Stephen's. In the five years I've been rector the two big issues we faced were the three service format (and its music) and our response to the consecration of the Rev Gene Robinson, a gay man living with his partner in a lifelong, monogamous relationship, as Bishop of New Hampshire.

Both above issues caused conflict. Conflict, of course, is a situation in which one or more individuals or groups have a goal which is attainable by one or the other, but not by both. There are four possible outcomes:

1. "I win, you lose"
2. "You win, I lose"
3. "We both lose"
4. "We both win"

The ideal is the last one. We may not get exactly what we wanted when the conflict began, but all agree that both sides were listened to, our needs were articulated, and a response was initiated.

There are various categories of conflict, from low-level to severe. Obviously, the lower it is, the better. In fact low conflict may even be a plus, as it often stirs people to make positive change. Getting back to St Stephen's in particular, with both of the above issues, people kept talking with each other, not at each other. Further, we listened to each other as everyone had his or her "say". One of the smartest things we did (and which other parishes did not do) was to have a single service on the fifth Sunday of the month, followed by a parish meeting to discuss the topic of the day. Do you remember the outcomes? By listening to each other, we defined "contemporary service" and its music, in ways in which those attending each of the three services were comfortable.We went back to two services, primarily from the Book of Common Prayer, with both traditional and contemporary music at the later liturgy.

In regard to Gene Robinson, we widened the topic to sexual orientation, and listened to each other express his or her feelings about homosexuality. We all had our say, from a gay couple to the members of a homophobic family. Here was the bottom line: two families left our fellowship to attend denominations that were and are more anti-gay. Ultimately, their leaving was put on me. There was a demand that I condemn homosexuality from the pulpit as a sin, and explain that all persons of homosexual orientation "will burn in hell".

I refused and they left. However, all of our other conservative families stayed. Other parishes in the diocese lost many more families than we did; one of the reasons why was that the issue was suppressed. No mention of it was made, and no opportunities were presented for people to speak and listen to each other. From what I understand, many of those parishes are still in conflict. Let me take this time, therefore, to thank all of you for caring enough about each other to listen, to learn and to appreciate our uniqueness as children of God.

Faithfully, Fr Bill

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Learning to Witness

The following definitions of "witness" appear in the on-line version of the Encarta dictionary.

1. Somebody who saw or heard something that happened and gives evidence about it (noun)
2. Somebody who publicly testifies to strong personal Christian beliefs (noun)
3. To see something happen, especially a crime or an accident (verb)
4. To talk in public about strong personal Christian beliefs (verb).

I'd like to speak to the two involving Christians and especially us at St Stephen's. Witnessing, along with evangelism, are two words that bring fear and trepidation to the hearts of many of us. The idea of speaking publicly about our faith is rather threatening. We see examples of it in many places and, indeed, we see that many have survived the experience. Three examples come to mind.

Fr Bill witnesses every Sunday from the pulpit, but we don't call it witness, we call it a sermon. But really, what is a sermon but one person's testimony as to what he/she believes? You say, "But that's what the clergy is supposed to do, that's what they're hired for (among other things)". You're right, but when Fr Bill says, "Look, folks, this is the way it is," he's witnessing; he's telling us what he believes.

Another way Fr Bill witnesses is by what he does - in his own life and in the way he leads the parish.

Another example: When Sharyn and I go to Tallahassee, we go with the family to a Methodist church near their home. On a recent visit, the minister preached a sermon on how we could make small changes in our daily lives to make God the focus. He used a show-and-tell approach. He recounted a usual day for him: Get up, shower, read the paper, eat breakfast, head to work and do his ministerial thing. In the afternoon it was bring his daughter to ballet, pick her up, go home for dinner, watch a little TV, and go to bed.

Then he took the same day showing ways that would bring God closer to our lives: Get up, give a quick thanks to God for the new day, maybe read a little scripture, and ask God to help him be aware of his presence in our lives; a quick grace at breakfast, and then off to work, looking for ways that he could serve God. In the evening, grace before dinner, and then maybe forsake a little TV with some Bible reading. Then a prayer of thanks for the blessings of the day.

My point? The minister was witnessing. Again you might say, "But that's what you expect of a minister. I can't do that; look at all the training he's had."

OK, let me run one more by you. Saturday, October 27th was the church rummage sale. It was a good day; lots of people shopping; lots of parishioners helping and enjoying the fellowship of friends. I helped out at the bake table taking people's purchases and making change. During the time I was there, I was privy to a conversation between a parishioner and someone whom I later learned was a former parishioner. Let me hasten to assure you I was not eavesdropping; it was a case where I could hear bits and pieces of the talk. The former parishioner was obviously going through a difficult time in life, beset by many problems. The current parishioner listened patiently and empathetically, and responded at times. Frequently, the response mentioned God as a source of strength, a source of comfort, a source of healing. It was not standing on the corner shouting "Repent or be doomed!", it was a warm comforting "Let God help you through these hard times".

This, folks, was also witnessing. A Christian giving support and comfort to a person in pain by talking about his own walk with the Lord. One-on-one support and testimony. I thought, "I could do that; I could share what I believe with someone else."

So think about it. Couldn't you do the same in your life? As the Methodist minister suggested, look for opportunities that God may be presenting you to witness for him. Reach out to someone in need; offer them comfort and support; show them how God is working in your life. Try it, you might like it.

Peace, Fred Philcox

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Holy Moments

I recently paid a visit to The Disney Store, where I purchased a complete Cinderella outfit, complete with "glass slippers," for my Goddaughter's eighth birthday. What fun I had, searching for Cinderella amidst a sea of princess dresses, with Disney songs playing in the background all the while. Since Katherine lives in Texas, I will not be there in person to see her open her gift, however they always call when the box arrives. She opens her gift while she is talking to me. It is the next best thing to being there. I can hear her little girl excitement and share in that joyful moment.

Just as we delight in planning surprises for people that we love, I believe God also delights in planning special surprises for us, his children.

On a recent Sunday morning, I was the recipient of such a surprise. I had just finished my morning tea. As I got out of my chair, I happened to look out my picture window and there were five beautiful wild turkeys right in front of me! They were absolutely gorgeous and comical as well. One was actually sitting on my white split rail fence! This big bird looked much like a gangly adolescent. It was one of those moments when time just stands still. I laughed and cried at the same time. I had a feeling of awe at God's creation. They were only there for maybe a minute. Then they walked across the lawn, as only turkeys can walk, kind of pushing their heads forward in that cocky kind of way.

Had I not looked out at just that moment, I would have missed them. I had heard that they had a nest in the neighborhood and had looked for them on other days but to no avail. I had almost forgotten about them and then, there they were. I don't think it was mere coincidence. I see it as "God-incidence."

After their appearance I went out and bought a disposable camera. I had hoped they would return but they seem to be rather elusive creatures. No encore performance as yet but I'll keep watching. The wonder of God's creation is all around us but our lives are so busy. I wonder how many other "holy moments" I may have missed in the course of a day. I am so thankful that I didn't miss that one.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!, Phyl Endicott

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The Episcopal Church

Fr Bob Gallagher submits the following excerpt from the "Episcopal Life" - October 22, 2007

"What is the difference between the Episcopal Church and the Roman Catholic Church?". Bishop C Christopher Epting, the presiding bishop's deputy for ecumenical and interfaith relations, responds:

The Episcopal Church traces its history back through the Church of England, which broke away from the Roman Catholic Church in the 16th century over issues both political and theological.

The political issues included the papacy and how the church was to be governed. The theological issues were ones raised during the Reformation by theologians such as Martin Luther and John Calvin: the place of Scripture and tradition; worship in the language of the people; certain sacramental practices and understandings; and mandatory celibacy for priests.

The Episcopal Church is part of the worldwide Anglican Communion (at some 77 million, the third-largest Christian communion in the world). Anglicans consider themselves both Catholic and Protestant. They are Catholic in the sense that they retained much of the liturgical and sacramental understanding of the early church; Protestant in the sense of being a church always open to reformation and renewal.

They believe that baptism with water in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit makes one a member of the one, holy, catholic and apostolic church. While affirming the "real presence" of Christ's body and blood in the eucharistic elements of bread and wine, they have refused overly specific definitions of how this happens such as the Roman Catholic concept of "transubstantiation," which uses medieval philosophical categories to define a holy mystery.

Today the noticeable differences are these: In the Episcopal Church bishops and priests can be married; there is no centralized authority figure like the pope; lay people play a greater role in decision making; sacramental confession is optional not required; married couples are permitted to use responsible means of birth control. Because its national churches are autonomous, yet interdependent, decision-making in the Episcopal Church can appear "messier" than in, say, the centralized Roman Catholic Church. Some would say it also provides room for the fresh winds of the Spirit to cleanse and refresh!

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Earth Prayer

"Grandfather, Great Spirit, once more behold me on earth and lean to hear my feeble voice. You lived first, and you are older than all need, older than all prayer. All things belong to you - the two-legged, the four-legged, the wings of the air, and all green things that live.

You have set the powers of the four quarters of the earth to cross each other. You have made me cross the good road and road of difficulties, and where they cross, the place is holy. Day in, day out, forevermore, you are the life of things."

Black Elk: Holy Man of the Oglala Sioux

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