The Beacon, May 2008

Judging by appearances

When I was in seminary, I worked at Christ Church in Stratford, Connecticut, one or two days a week. I was there for primarily Sunday worship and to run the parish's youth group on Sunday afternoon. However, during the week, I usually made several trips to see parishioners in the various area hospitals. One day, while at a hospital in Bridgeport, I accidentally left my keys in the car. Unfortunately, I discovered this after I had exited the car and the "automatic" had locked its doors. I decided to first see the person whom I had come to see, and then deal with my situation. Later, as I walked back toward my car, I made a side trip to the hospital's security office where I obtained a coat hanger. Bending it just right, I was able to slip one end down through the top of the window, in the hopes of hooking the loop I had made around the door lock. One good pull and I'd be on my way! That, however, was not to be. I worked for over forty-five minutes with no success.

Suddenly, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, a rather scruffy looking man walking (better make that staggering!) toward me. He had noticed my clerical collar. Seminarians, you see, are allowed to wear clerical collars as long as there is a vertical black line on them. The man came over, saw what I was doing, and then said to me, "Whatz za matta, Father, you lock yourself out?" Immediately, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a key ring with well over fifty keys on it. He looked at my car, picked one key out of the fifty, inserted it in the car lock, and turned it. The car opened as if the key was made precisely for it. He then smiled, said "Have a good day", and staggered off. It was so obvious that this individual was a professional car thief who had skeleton keys for every make and model car on the road.

I tell you this story because it confirmed a couple of things for me. It said to me, first of all, that our generation was right when we told our parents that scruffy clothing and long hair were no more or less moral or acceptable to God than fine clothing and short hair or no hair. I Samuel 16:7b states, "For the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart." Secondly, it said to me that even "bad" people are capable of occasional good acts, and that the reverse is also true, that "good" people are capable of occasional bad acts. In other words, we humans reflect creation. It was made in the image of God and called "good" by God, yet we are also aware that we live in a fallen world, a world of alienation, not community.

And though we have seen humankind at its worst, we have also seen it at its best when we respond to those in need. What brings out the best in us? As a Christian, I believe the answer is "Immanuel, that God is in this life with us."

Faithfully, Fr Bill

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Old friendships

I have a friend of over forty years. I met Charlie well, I'm not sure exactly how but it was during the time when folk music was very popular. Charlie and his wife Glennie both played the guitar, and frequently, a group of us would get together Charlie's house to lay and sing the popular songs of the day. The Kingston Trio; Harry Belafonte; The Weavers; Pete Seeger; Peter, Paul and Mary; and a bunch of others. We had a great time, and I became very fond of Charlie and Glennie. In fact, when Sharyn and I were married, he was my best man.

We shared a mutual interest in sports cars and quite often spent an enjoyable Sunday participating in rallies, a competition where the idea was to follow route instructions and arrive at checkpoints within the prescribed amount of time. This interest led a while later into Charlie and I joining the Sports Car Club of America and attending race drivers' school with our cars. Neither of us was spectacularly successful as drivers, but we had a good time.

The years went by; Charlie became involved with alcohol and pills, got divorced, and remarried, but we remained friends (we lived only three houses apart from one another) and Charlie would frequently stop by to chat. But the visits became more infrequent as years went by.

Over the past four or five years, I noticed that Charlie was getting forgetful. Sometimes, when he stopped by, he'd repeat stories that I'd already heard before, or he'd ramble on almost incoherently. I must confess that there were times when I wished he hadn't come. Then he told me he was going into the hospital to have stents put in four of his heart arteries. He was most anxious about this, but he knew I had had heart surgery myself, so he came for some reassurance, which I did my best to give him.

Then, one morning, about a month ago, I saw an ambulance and a police car pull up in front of his house. Fearing the worst, I watched as the paramedics went in to his house. I was relieved to see that Charlie was sitting upright on the stretcher when he was carried out.

It was about three days before I had a chance to talk to his wife, Mickey. I came home one afternoon, and Mickey was talking to a couple of her neighbors in the driveway. I went down to talk to her and was disturbed to hear that Charlie had been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, dementia, and depression in 2003. He recently had fallen and injured himself which was the cause for the ambulance and was in a rehab facility in Marlboro and would be confined to a nursing home at the end of his rehab.

I have since been to visit Charlie several times; our visits are usually short; Charlie rambles on about things from forty years ago and from yesterday, can't wait to go home (this breaks my heart for it won't happen,) and he's glad I come to see him because I remember the people and places he talks about.

I tell you no secret when I say that God works in mysterious ways. Visiting Charlie doesn't bother me: I've dealt with people with dementia before, and hearing the other patients on the floor doesn't frighten me. But I have discovered a closeness to Charlie that I didn't realize existed. I sit with him and listen, nod in appropriate places, and feel very much at ease. When I leave, I squeeze his hand, and he squeezes back, and we know things are OK.

I feel blessed that Charlie and I have reconnected, and I'm grateful to God that I have this opportunity to serve him. Praise the Lord!

Peace, Fred Philcox

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The Seasons of Life

"There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the sun" - Eccl. 3:1

This familiar verse from the scriptures. reminds us that as we live out our lives. we will encounter many changes. The same cycles of life start anew with each generation. In fact. we share many commonalties with our Biblical ancestors. as far as life transitions go. There is, however one transition in our modern lives that they never really experienced. That is retirement. They continued working and raising families well into old age. Abraham and Sarah were in their 90's when Isaac was born! No Social Security or Pension plan back then.

Retirement can be a huge adjustment in life, especially when it occurs sooner than we had planned. It may come as a result of health problems or company cut backs. For many of us. our jobs have formed a large part of our identity, and so we may feel a sense of loss and even go through a period of grieving. Endings, however. often herald in wonderful new beginnings.

I have been happily retired for a number of years now. Like most retired folks, my life is as busy or busier than when I was employed, but it is filled with all the things that I love to do. The most important thing I did when I retired was to make my morning prayer time the priority in my life. I took the time to sit and really listen to God and discern his will for my life. I must admit I didn't do that with the earlier chapters of my life.

I found God had many surprises in store for me. As a young person, I was an average student and not particularly fond of school. Today one of my greatest joys is taking classes at Assumption College. through a program called Worcester Institute for Senior Education or WISE. They offer non-credit classes in a wide range of subjects for a nominal fee. They are available to anyone over the age of 55 and are held during the day. This is a real plus, for those of us who don't like to drive at night. While our classes are held on campus, our classmates are fellow seniors like myself. We have excellent teachers, many who teach at Assumption or other area colleges. In addition. I have learned so much from my fellow classmates. We share a wealth of knowledge. both in academics and also in life experiences. Our backgrounds are as diverse as the subjects we take. This too has added to the learning experience.

I am currently taking a course on the Psalms. My classmates include Episcopalians, other Christian denominations, as well as Jews. Since we all bring our favorite Bible, we have the added benefit of hearing the other translations. I was very moved last week when one of the women read the entire psalm in Hebrew and followed by singing a Hebrew chant.

These WISE classes have been such an unexpected blessing in my life. No matter what chapter you are in your life, God has surprises in store for you, too.

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you" - James 4:8

Happy Spring!!, Phyl Endicott

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Letters to the Editor

Dear Fellow Parishioners,

Sylvia (or, as Basil calls her, Sister Sylvia or Mother Sylvia) made an excellent point during announcements this morning: she does not consider announcements as an interruption in the flow of worship because everything we do is geared toward community - and that's the flow that counts. Since I am (arguably) just as cute as Sylvia, I would like to add my two cents worth.

At seminary, where we were trained by the liturgical experts, we physically moved from the Liturgy of the Word to the Liturgy of the Eucharist to accentuate the two parts of the service as both integral and separate.

I'm not advocating physical movement at St Stephen's, it's neither necessary nor practical, but I offer that if physical movement doesn't destroy the flow of liturgy, then neither do announcements (nor the arrival of our wonderful children). In fact, such sharing gives Closure to the Word and Introduction to the Sacrament - a kind of mental and spiritual transition. And since Word, Announcements/Child Arrival, and Sacrament are all done to better the community, where is the interference with the flow? I don't see it.

I must confess to a snide remark I made to Sylvia after the announcements, that such discussions gain better perspective when we note that many soldiers return from Iraq daily in body bags - and folks in our own neighborhood are threatened with loss of home in this economy. The war and the economy give us perspective when tempted to get too much involved with what can easily become petty.

Thanks for listening, Fr Bob

Sylvia responds:

Thank you, Bob, for adding your perspective.

Actually, I understand the desire to morph from Word to Eucharist in a rosy haze of emotion (perhaps in relief from body-bags, foreclosures and other nasties of life). Can't say I've never desired such a morph myself. And we do need rosy hazes (relief times apart). However, even the model Eucharist (Last Supper) was not such a time (Luke & John). There sure were long announcements there !! Many of them more grim than ours.

We claim God is with us even, or especially, in the nasties. Most of our announcements deal with ways we, as a community, can serve each other and others in the worst and best of times. What a relief not to have to go it alone!

Sylvia

P.S. I got an interesting 'thank you' from a choir member who said that the announcements are important to most of them, and make them feel like they are more a part of the congregation.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Letters to the editor from all Beacon readers are welcome. They may be edited due to the amount of space available and other considerations. Our motto is "all the news that fits, we print." [Ed]

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Property Committee

The Property Committee would like to recognize and thank the entire crew that showed up on Saturday April 19th to participate in the "Jim Boyer Annual Spring Clean-up" at St Stephen's Church.

A thank you goes to those of you who who went the extra yard and spent time to do a lot more than was expected. And also thanks to those who showed up on April 12th in spite of the inclement weather. The turn out was wonderful and we look forward to having a greater turn out next spring when we should be able to finish the job completely in one shot.

A special thanks to Brian Boyer for arranging for the dumpster and to Dean Yankee for cutting the shrubs by the office door.

Les Daniels

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